I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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