I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
