the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize