I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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