NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
please come you make the beer taste better
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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