I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize