I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
