Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Even my vagina gasped.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
