You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize