Kiss
Puke
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When are your genitals available?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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