i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
