We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
