I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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