ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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