You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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