I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
