You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
