Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
