I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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