I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
