He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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