What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
