just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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