You work out of a Hotel?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
