We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
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Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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