And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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