Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
