its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
