he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
