He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize