gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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