hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
