I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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