Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
