I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
