i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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