he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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