Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
