If that was your dad, he is hot
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
