I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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