this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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