I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag