every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize