we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
