Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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