So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
