he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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