i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize