I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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