Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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