I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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