we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
