We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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